If you can’t close shi*, you are doing one of these three things wrong.

The three ‘golden rules’ you need to follow if you want to be able to sell yourself in relationships and in business.

Everybody everywhere is trying to sell you something. But nobody is going to buy anything from you when they are aware that you are trying to sell something to them. Even if they would want it or need it. Unless they really really need it — like fire insurance on a burning house type-of-situation. And even then it would be a challenge because then it’s going to be obvious you are trying to sell fire insurance.

As a society, we have built up this ‘guard wall’ against sales. That automatically goes up once our ‘sales-warning-sense’ starts going off the rails.

We hate the idea of being sold something. We want to feel like we are making a purchasing decision not because of somebody’s else’s ability to persuade us, but because the product itself is in a way a representation of ourselves. A statement of who we are or where we want to be.

In this lies the first rule of successful sales: selling something to someone without inherently doing so.

To sell, one must do so without ‘selling’.

Everybody in life experienced the feeling and let down that occurs in pursuit of something which you desire because you acted overly desperate or too obvious that you want it.

You can have all of the goods — 6ft-2, bulging biceps with a lean six-pack and a fancy university degree showcasing prospects. But if you are desperate, she just doesn’t want it. If you play hard to get, she is suddenly interested.

Here lies the second rule of sales: We chase what retreats from us.

Because if we feel like we can’t attain something. We desire it even more.

Whether in trying to sell yourself in a dating environment or in a business one. If we feel like we can get something very easily, there is no temptation or desire to ‘act fast’. We feel like that option will always be there, and as the result, we usually end up taking no action at all.

You want to create a feeling of ‘now or never’ or ‘now is already too late but you can still do it, only if you act now.’

You also want to make them feel like they are getting a bargain.

“He is smart, and handsome, and athletic?! How is that possible?”
or
“I get a 10% year-over-year return with a 4% dividend yield, and it’s virtually no risk with almost zero fees?! How is that possible?”

Third rule of sales: A transaction has to be a win-win on both ends, but you want to make the other party feel like they are getting a better deal.

In summary, if you:
1. Don’t come off like you are selling.
2. Create a feeling of urgency.
3. Make them feel like they are getting a better-end of that bargain.

You would end up closing that sale.

Just remember the last and final rule in sales — ‘A.B.C.’
Always. Be. Closing.